For most of my life I have felt my emotions, and those of people close to me, on an exquisite level of technicolor sensitivity. I went through long periods of time where I rejected this part of myself as overly sensitive, and others did too. It was just too painful. Rather than tune into the pain, I ignored it and tried to divert it.
This rejection prompted me to either hide my emotions behind a mask of stoicism and bravery or catapult me into feeling like a victim. I hopped back and forth for most of my life, exhausted by how to manage and make good use of this sensitivity.
Over time and out of necessity, my adaptive specialty developed into a willingness - even a compulsion - to look at my emotional pain, finally giving it meaning by transforming it into something constructive. (This is a very Scorpio trait in case you were wondering. It’s probably why I have also secretly yearned to be a professional singer, but since God didn’t bless me with a singing voice, I had to adapt.)
While I didn’t fully realize it at the time, this process of releasing my pain by making sense of it is what ultimately made my Second Chance at marriage possible.
While healing our pain makes so much sense on a basic quality of life scale, the truth is it’s not fun, and as humans we generally don’t want to look at our pain unless or until we reach a breaking point.
The real reason we should be motivated to heal our past and learn from our mistakes, is that it’s the key to claiming a different future.
My breaking point came after my marriage ended. The pain and self-doubt I felt was compounded by fear and uncertainty about the future.
Unlike a lot of women who go through divorce and are ambivalent about remarrying, I was not. Having clarity that I wanted to remarry some day propelled me to approach my post-divorce healing in a much more intentional way. I intuitively knew that I couldn’t receive my Second Chance until I had learned the lessons of why the marriage had failed.
That first year, I spent a lot of time by myself, consciously connecting with my pain and trying to understand the lessons it held for me, so that I could release it.
Accepting that I had a choice felt far more empowering than feeling I was doomed to repeat the past.. I was in charge and could rewrite the script and the outcome.
Gradually I began to realize that Second Chances afford us the opportunity to be in the world in a way that is much more secure and powerful.
Without healing our pain, it’s not possible to create a future that’s much different than the past, because by following the same script, we are going to simply attract more of the same pain, struggles and challenges - into our lives.
Whether it’s a different job or a different relationship it is possible to learn from the past and create a different outcome.
Second Chances in life are where the magic happens . When we say “yes” to the universe’s invitation to rewrite our life script we are saying “yes” to owning our power.
Learning how to transform our pain into any kind of gain in is the true definition of personal freedom and power.
Years later it was through studying my astrological birth chart that I was finally able to replace the self-doubt surrounding my sensitivity with an attitude of acceptance, compassion and ultimately empowerment.
With Chiron, the Wounded Healer, in my 12th House of Fears, the universe’s invitation to me was one of understanding that my sensitivity was a gift I could harness and use to help others. If I accepted the invitation so clearly before me, I could use my pain to help others heal their own.
The reason astrology is so powerful and healing is that it shows us the pathway to claiming our Second Chance.
We don’t get just one chance at anything – we get multiple chances if we are willing to own our part and do the work
Where in your life are you you ready to heal so you can create a new beginning?
Is it in a relationship with your spouse, your friend, your child? Or maybe in how you understand your life purpose, what you’re here to accomplish?
What’s one thing you can do today, to move forward in this area of your life differently?
I promise you, when you are open to letting go of whatever pain, hurt or self-doubt you’re feeling, there’s a new opportunity waiting for you around the corner.
If you’re interested in learning more about how you can claim your Second Chance, I’d love to help. Here’s a link to schedule a free 30-minute session to discover whether together we can open the door together. Or email me: Laurel@LaurelOSullivanCoaching.com