The Key to Developing Self Mastery at Mid Life
I am not normally drawn to books about habits, schedules or anything remotely related to self-discipline. And yet for some reason this past month I’ve found myself reading not one, not two but three different books all at the same time on the topic of habit formation. The only way I can explain this is to point to the energies currently being generated by the historic upcoming conjunction of Saturn and Pluto coming together on January 12 in the sign of Capricorn.
The symbology of astrology is a powerful tool for examining our own personal growth and development because the planets move in predictable patterns and we can gauge our own growth and development by their cycles.
Saturn and Pluto are the two big heavy hitters of the zodiac and they only come together every 35 years. Saturn is our Teacher prodding us on to develop the structures along with the will and self- discipline to develop our own Inner Authority in areas of our life that are usually difficult.
Pluto is about deep transformational power that requires us to give something up on an identity level in order to access it. The last time these two planets came together was in 1982 but the last time they came together in Capricorn was 1517! This was the same year Martin Luther posted his 95 Theses to the door of Wittenberg Castle ushering in the Protestant Reformation, all about challenging power and authority and building new structures in one of the world’s primary religions.
The other day my ears perked up when I heard that the last time Saturn was in Capricorn was 1988-1991. This was a pivotal period of time in my life. I was applying to college and making the decisions that would quite literally affect the next 35 years of my life.
I narrowed it down to two schools, Northwestern and the University of Wisconsin, Madison. I ultimately chose the school that I thought was more aligned with a projected image of myself, the self I thought I wanted to be at the time: a more laid back, less intense and more social version of myself.
I spent a fairly miserable freshman year on a large campus, in large classes, in a very unsocial dorm and was, you guessed it, miserable. I made a decision to switch to the much smaller, more academically oriented and serious -minded campus of Northwestern and ultimately ended up being much happier.
It’s interesting when I reflect back on all the things I was learning, unconsciously at the time, about self-mastery. The truth is at the age of 18 our identity is still in formation. I was both serious minded AND social, but far more serious minded than I cared to admit. Saturn’s natural energy was teaching me about discipline and commitment and setting goals. As a result of attending Northwestern, and performing well, I applied for and received a scholarship to law school. This set me on a career trajectory of defining myself by outward measures of achievement.
It gives me chills when I compare the intensity of that period of time in my life, with the current cycle of Saturn. Since 2018 I’ve been letting go of old structures and building new ones in my career. In terms of pure discipline and work, the last three years have felt equally as arduous as it did to earn the grades to graduate with honors from both undergraduate and law school
There is however, one key difference and that is the sense of clarity I feel today that the choices I’m making are truly aligned with my life’s purpose. As a result, the “restrictions” that Saturn can impose don’t feel as acute. There is not the same sense that “everything” is riding on my career success. In fact quite the opposite. My chosen career today has been born out of what I learned from my previous career pathway.
None of this means that the choices we make when we are young are wrong. Or that making the choice to take new and very different paths at mid-life are easy. But the beauty of making course corrections in mid-life is that we have more of a track record to fall back on.
By comparison, who we are capable of knowing ourselves to be at 18 is far more influenced by our family and friends, in essence our conditioning, versus a true version of ourselves that we have arrived at through trial and error, and humility, including the willingness to let go of layers of our identity that we have outgrown.
When I was 18, defining myself by my academic performance and my intelligence was a key part of my identity. It would set the stage for my decision to attend law school, and even who I would marry (had I not transferred colleges I would not have met my former husband). All of this set the stage for my very pronounced “proving” energy that I’ve written a lot about in other posts, an energy that is perfectly aligned with the outward oriented status seeking energy of Capricorn in the 10th house.
The piece that my 18 year- old self was unable to see was the elusive satisfaction of proving ourselves to others. The last thirty years of my life have been about letting go of that outward orientation. I’ve learned how to master the energy of Saturn that is unique to my journey and I’m excited about the possibilities that lie ahead.
Where are you learning about self-mastery and what are you looking forward to putting in place for the next 35 years of your life?
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The journey to self-mastery starts from within and having a reading of your birth chart can be a wonderful kick start to the next 35 years. To schedule a reading with me, go here: